NBTD-ness-ness-ness

Interesting Stuff...

2009-04-17T20:44:28Z

I just read this...

dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/88037/dating-question-can-a-guy-be-too-nice/;_ylc=X3oDMTNlcTI1NGtkBF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEX3MDMjE0MjE2Mzc0MwRrA0NhbiBhIEd1eSBCZSBUb28gTmljZQRzZWMDZnBfdG9kYXkEc2xrA2RhdGluZy1xdWVzdGlvbi1jYW4tYS1ndXktYmUtdG9vLW5pY2UEenoDYWJj

Hmmm....

Of perpetuating problems...

2009-04-13T20:07:28Z

Ever had a problem that would never seem to go away...? That any possible solution is only prevented by the problem itself..?

It's kinda like the public transport problem in Malaysia...
Unreliable public transport --> People drive everywhere they go --> Jams happen everywhere ---> Buses and Taxis get held up in jams ---> Public transport becomes unreliable...

I have something like that...
I can't move out because I won't have a com --> I won't have a com because I don't have money --> I don't have money cause I can't finish my work --> I can't finish my work because I can't concentrate --> I want to move out and get my own space so that I can concentrate...

It's really annoying really. It's only worse now that my dad stays at home all day long and works from home. His laptop is behind the PC and every time I start work, he's either on it or watching TV, which means I either have the distraction from the TV or the annoying feeling of someone constantly staring down my back.

Oh.. and earplugs don't work. The sound of pumping blood is just as annoying as someone going, "China's economy is... *bla* *bla* *bla*"

... I really hate my house. *sigh*

Of a new found respect and some lost...

2009-03-22T22:13:40Z

Spent the last 3 days at the Hotlink event in Times Square, and while I can't say it was friggin huge, the crowd was decent. (But considering the fact that it was held in an open area in the center of the city, I suppose it would be expected.)

It wasn't an even I'd normally go to but the guys at Outpost (MySciFiFans; yes, I'm a hybrid geek~ =D) got me to help out with their Watchmen character appearances as ROAR!shack, and I wasn't about to turn that down anytime soon. XD

So after three days and a terribly aching butt (as a result of that semi-crouch/creeping pose I've been constantly forcing myself into) what have I learned? One, that people who do this for a living have their work cut out for them; and by people, I'm referring to everyone from cosplayers, character-appearance-guys (no real idea what to call them), mascots and the like are all incredible people. The work is hard, and while it's still quite fun, it takes quite a toll on your body.

Of course, there's also the not-so-gewd stuff, and that would bring me to the second thing I've learned - that there's a lot low-grade, dirty perves out there in Malaysia. Please understand first and formost, as a pervert of some degree myself, I usually do not participate in the bashing of my fellow pervies; but when you're an old uncle staring at a girl's ass (who's young enough to be your daughter btw) and having the cheek not to look away when you're stared back, you've really hit rock bottom. It doesn't even help that some jerk-wad actually ran in and took a grab at my "fellow Watchmen"'s ass! (People, there's only ONE female Watchmen. I really don't need to spell this out for you, do I?)

*sigh* Needless to say, the rest of us were on high alert after that incident and flanked her rear whenever we moved from site to site. (We even jokingly refered to it as the VIP - Very Important Posterior~ WHoo Hoo~ - just to get some tension off)

With that down, I'm off to work and hopefully more training. Finally recovered and I can go back to the gym~ Whoo hoo!! XD

Of Movies I've watched (and other updates)~ =D

2009-03-17T09:33:52Z

Hello peoplez~ It's been a short age since my last update, so... here it is.

Old-Men-Meetings
Since my last update, I've been participating in a periodical meeting where we read, study and discuss the teachings of Confucius (as written in some pretty old books). While it's one thing to take interest in old Chinese literature, it's another thing altogether to find the discussions of folks aged 40 and up interesting; the worst thing may actually be the fact that I have something to add! XD

*sigh* if the balding wasn't enough to tell me I'm growing old.

Movies I've Watched
In the past few months, I've taken the liberty of watching a few good movies. While I'm not going to give a full review for each damned one, I'm just going to speed things up with a brief...
1. Watchmen - Go watch it. It's a deep and meaningful superhero story that's more about "people" than "powers".
2. Bolt - It's Pixar. Good animation and all that but really nothing spectacular story-wise; it seems like these films seemed to have somehow fallen to a formula - the great realizes he/she's not that great and eventually overcomes it by swallowing some encouraging BS that a guidance counsillor would puke out.
3. Milk - Historical film based around the life of Harvey Milk - a gay-rights activist. Remarkably good film and very insightful IMO.
4. Role Models - A film about two guys becoming the role models to two "troubled" kids. Pretty interesting IMO. Not bound for any awards soon, but I've never taken such an insightful look at LARPGs.

Other than that, training has been going well, and with any luck, I'll be cosplaying Kamina in CosFest as scheduled. My only worry remains around the abs... T___T

- out -

RSISU [Random Stuff I've Stumbled Upon] 2

2008-11-08T19:11:07Z

Here's a few things I've recently found online...

The Laws of Anime

Monkey On Fire [Brain Zapping Essay]

and last but not least...

Happy day dear friends...

Post.Traumatic Thoughts

2008-10-20T07:08:38Z

I really don't know how to start this post, other than to start talking about my experiences on Friday.

After what happened that night, I frankly went off feeling a lil shaken. I'm not sure entirely by what, but I suppose part of it might be the worry that the next time this happens, I might not be so "relatively unscathed", but I'm also pretty sure that part of me also feels this fear simply because I've been faced with the fact that there are people out there who are less willing to help people like me (under those circumstances) than a cat is inclined to swim the English Channel.

It's really disappointing sometimes when you think about it. How is it, in a modern society like today, possible that people are about as inclined to help a robbery victim than those in the Middle Ages? It almost seems like as though as people grow "smarter" (and I use the term sparingly) the sense of trust and community seem to fade away.

This thought was further amplified when a dear friend made a stab at my narcissistic tendencies, citing that "I fault myself for not doing more simply because I don't think that anyone else can do anything about it." Seriously, is it so hard to believe that someone would act with the simple intention of helping others without some ulterior motive and/or psychological disorder? Is it not possible that I simply want to do something because I think every little bit helps? Is it, in turn, narcissistic to believe that you can make a difference in the world?

*sigh* I really don't know. I suppose it really comes down to how you want to look at life.

I received a lot of replies from friends, some sounding more concerned than others; and while not all of them seem as disappointing, it really opened my eyes to how some people truly view the world. A number of replies told me simply that "people did not stop because they fear for their own safety", and that was fine with me, but some later added with "afraid that you might be part of some scam", and that to me was just sad...

Thankfully, this doesn't change anything about how I view the world - I still believe I can make a difference; I still believe that if a person is robbed in front of me, I will not stand idly by; I still believe that there is good in people and that faith in this should take priority; I believe in a sense of duty and responsibility for the welfare of others, as well as the innocence that this sense of believe will be returned...

I suppose a single blog post is not going to sufficiently express my feelings for some of the responses I've received, but for what it's worth, I hope this helps you who are reading understand the way I think now, and perhaps, give you a little food for thought.

Aniversary of an Adventure...

2008-10-17T15:50:16Z

Just little over a year has since passed since the attempted kidnapping of a dear friend of mine, tongari. We both managed to escape relatively unscathed, and hence, were all very thankful. So what better way to celebrate than to undergo an ATTEMPTED ROBBERY!!!! XD

Yes, you read right! I was ALMOST robbed at knife point just hours before! Here's the 4-1-1~

About 8.30pm, I was on my way to work along SS18/4 when two indian guys came up to me on a motobike pretending to ask for directions. Then, the guy behind tried to get up. I felt something was amiss when I soon realized that it was a knife and these guys were trying to mug me!

Having been through a similar incident last year, I could think clearly this time. Thought flashed through my head instantly; Should I just give them my money, do I even have any money to give? Or should I fight back and hope that someone comes in time to help..? Now, having only RM30 in my pocket and living basically on the lint collected on the bottom of my wallet meant that I really couldn't afford to give in. So, I reached out and grabbed onto blade, figuring, as long as I keep it away, I'd be fine.

There was a short struggle, a part which the guy holding the knife grabbed at my shirt and stretched out the collar of my TOA T-shirt (damn them... I liked that shirt...). Then, a red car drove by. Thinking that they'd (the car) would stop and let me in, I let go of the blade only to be severely disappointed - it drove off.

The guys came back, and in a similar fashion, I grabbed at the knife again. This time, through the struggle, the blade snapped off. It took the indian guy a second before he realised he was only holding onto the handle, but when he did, he and his partner only started to back away, shouting threats at me.

Now, here's the thing I've learned... Back then, at the very instant I had the blade in my hand, I had a chance, a chance to stab the guy, a chance which was actually presented to me time and time again through the struggle, a chance I knew very clearly. The thing is, I simply can't... I simply don't have the heart to do it.

Through the struggle, I shifted the blade top towards his thigh, the side of his adobem; I held onto the blade and I saw his throat, I saw him backing away, slowly; I could've stabbed, maimed, even killed him and stop him from doing things like this forever; but all the while, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It was clear before me, I knew I could... I just didn't do it.

Nevertheless, I'm posting this simply to warn you guys out there, and perhaps, apologize as well; because of me, they are still out there, and while they were disarmed once, I simply can't be sure that they won't strike again. Perhaps if had only did more than what I did, you reading would have less to worry about.

*PS I'm kinda pissed at the fact that there were at least 8 cars that drove by though that incident and the most help I got was a drive-by and a honk of the horn; though, come to think of it, could I have really asked more from anyone?

Of taking a breather...

2008-10-05T18:20:22Z

I need a break. That goes with saying that, despite me not really working all that hard, the frustrations involved is really getting to me.

I think I should start spending at least a couple of minutes alone cuddled up to a nice book and a warm cup of tea.... but then again, the only tea left in my house is terrible. Damn... gotta add that to my "to-buy-list".

I think the world is beautiful... but I somehow just feel a lil left out... like I somehow don't really belong. Perhaps it's just the frustrations talking, but I long for so much that I feel, seems to exist only within my own heart and mind. I long for the days when people had just a little more consideration, that a smile would be justly replied without suspicion or disgust, that hugging your fellow man in their moments of despair not a token of homosexuality.

I long for the days of brotherhood, the trust people used to share, the purity of a person's heart, mind and soul. I long for the warmth of a friendly embrace, the drift of warm night's breeze brushing against an ocean's wind, the whispers of the rustling leaves without the taint of dust or grime...

I like bamboo... I like fishing... I like taking long hikes... I like smelling the air...

I think I needa get out of the city...

Finals shall be the death of me...

2008-08-28T08:54:04Z

In an uncommon post about my life, being stuck in the pre-production stage of my course's final project is the pits. GAAAAHHHH!!!! Let me animate stuff anyday... this stage is just crap~ it's like a turd took a dump, and that pile vomitted into a cess pool, and together, they had kids, and those kids repeated the process for half a million times, you'd be pretty close to what I'm looking at right now.

GAAAAHHHH!!!

*excersice to remove stress*

Top 10 Game-Movies I'd Like To See

2008-08-26T10:15:16Z

Because it's fun to make a list...
(Google/Wiki anything you don't know; None of this is real)

1. Warcraft: War of The Ancients
Taking place upon the coming of Sargeras, the first of this thriple-trilogy (this means NINE films, friends) throws the viewer right into the cornerstone of Queen Azshara (Cate Blanchett; see (movie) Narnia: TW,TL,ATW)'s corruption and the invasion of the Burning Legion. A seperate intepretation of its own, this movie focuses on the stories of Furion Stormrage (Hugo Weaving; see (movie) The Matrix (movie)'s Agent Smith) and Illidan (Gerard Butler; see (movie) 300) defines once and for all the events that lead to the eventual sundering of Kalimdor.

2. Bioshock: Rapture
Taking place soon after the founding of Rapture, this story focuses around the stories behind the events that eventually lead up to the civil war that would ultimately bring the downfall of Andrew Ryan (Johnny Depp; see (movie) Pirates of the Carribean)'s ideal utopia. Ending upon Frank Fontaine's (Roger Allam; see (movie) Speed Racer) demise, this provides room for a sequel should it prove popular enough.

3. Starcraft: Terran Dominion
First of a Trlogy, this movie takes place shortly after the first contacts, Terran Dominion focuses on the events on Mar Sara that circle around Arcturus Mengsk (Michael Chiklis; see (tv series) The Shield) and Sarah Kerrigan (Kate Beckinsale; see (movie) Underworld) lead to the formation of Terran Dominion (hence the name).

4. Magic The Gathering: The Brother's War
First of a Trilogy, MTG:TBW tells of the events that lead up to the eventual war between Urza (Helmut Bakaitis; see(movie) The Matrix Revolutions) and Mishra (Brad Dourif; see (movie) Lord of the Rings: TTT), the birth of Urza the Planeswalker and the discovery of the Phyrxians.

5. Warhammer
Focused around the story of Captain Gabriel Angelos (Sean Bean; see (movie) Lord of the Rings: TFoTR) and Inquisitor Mordecai Toth (Ron Perlman; see (movie) Hellboy), this movie follows theevents that lead up to the battles on Tartarus. One can only wonder at the plaussible methods of directing a war that has lasted thousands of years.

6. Mass Effect
Revolving around John Shepard (Russell Crowe; see (movie) Gladiator), this movie follows the main storyline of the game and its eventual ending with the defeat of Sovereign.

7. Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater
Following the same storyline as that of the game, MGS:SE tells of the story behind John (Robert Downey Jr.; see (movie) Iron Man) @ Naked Snake's mission to rescue Sokolov (Daniel Craig; see (movie) James Bond: Casino Royale) with the aide of the beautiful EVA (Liv Tyler; see (movie) LoTR: TFoTR). Speculations do exist, however, over how the game's trademark fourth-wall-defying humor may translate into the big screen.

8. Final Fantasy: The Spirits WITHOUT
Directed by people ACTUALLY from SquareEnix, this full length feature film tells the story of a conviently-confused young man, a potentially-potent princess, and their eventual exploits across an altogether-too-alien world of fantasy after their unlikely meeting. Filled with crystal-themed objects, yellow-feathered ostriches, walking cacti, and multi-coloured beasts of the identical make, this film promises to be the apology from Square that has been so sorely overdue. (Cast not available.)

9. F.E.A.R.
Based upon the game's original storyline, this movie revolves around "Point Man" (Nicholas Cage; see (movie) Ghost Rider) and his chase of Paxton Fettel (Stephen Dorff; see (movie) Alone in The Dark), the psychotic psyhic under the control of Alma (Selma Blair; see (movie) Hellboy).

10. Halo
The first of an intended Trilogy, the movie begins with the awakening of Master Chief (Kiefer Sutherland; see (tv series) 24) on the Pillar of Autumn shortly before its crash on Halo. Lexa Doig (see (tv series) Andromeda) plays Kortana.

+++++++++++++
With the onslaught of new movies these days, I figured it'd be fun to come up with my own~

*Yes, I do realise I'm type-casting. For that, I apologize to whomever that may take offense.

Of Faith...

2008-08-24T08:21:02Z

Faith Demands a Belief in the Unknown, the Unseen, and the Intangible (note: Does not ACTUALLY refer to anything tangy/orangy/lemony/citrusy or anything else of the sort)...

A belief that foresees the clearing behind the mist,
That pierces the darkness through cloudy night,
That touches your soul with a warm caress,
That drives the cold from your shivering spine...

It needs not rituals,
It needs not speech,
It needs not books or guides,
But only heart...

Belief sheds fear, breathes hope,
Belief sheds grief, breathes life,
Belief sheds doubt, breathes trust,
And that is all there is to it...

Still your hand, you need not fight,
To prove yourself in Heaven's eye,
To prove yourself in nation's mind,
To prove yourself in your own heart...

You know the truth,
You speak it true,
You do what you believe is right,
And that, is your faith...

++++++++++++

Can't say for sure what prompted this entry, but as far as I'm concerned, this is all I really have to say (at this moment) on the topic of faith, so all you religious nutjobs can zarking shove off!

*pags self*

(Note: "pag" - to pat and hug at the same time; to hug the back of the intendee's head with the palm of one's hand; pioneered by Jared! Credits due~ >D)

Movie Review: The Mummy - The Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

2008-08-17T18:26:35Z

Gawd... It's been ages since I last wrote a review... how am I supposed to do this again..?

++++++++++++++++++++++

Language (Dub): English/Mandarine
Language (Sub): English/Chinese/Malay

Yeah! Another western take on Chinese history!! Yippee!!! (seriously, that wasn't sarcasm. I'm happy everytime one culture takes an adverse interest in another enough to make a movie about it.)

Well... I was happy.... Till I watched the movie.

In short, it was aweful. Not entirely all bad... the trailer was good~ The effects was nice! Jet Li has never looked that good metamorphing into vicious beasts of burden~

... and the praises pretty much end there.

The script was bad. It felt cliched. It WAS cliched. Seriously, the whole "I-hate-you-therefore-I-fall-head-over-heels-in-love-with-you-because-you-kicked-my-ass-before" thing only gets boring after the uptenth time we've watched in on the big screen (and I'm pretty sure we've passed that mark sometime in the last century). Along with that, although I DO realise that this movie was targeted for a more western audiance, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY IN THE WORLD OF SCRIPT-WRITING, USE YOUR ZARKING MIND WHILE WRITING THE ZARKING LINES!

1. Spells writen in sanskrit do NOT sound cooler in English. Comprehensible? Yes. Better? No. (I'm not even gonna attempt to argue over whether the same spell even WORKS in a different language. That'd be pointless)

2. Mother and daughter, who, normally converse in chinese, is NOT gonna, at the brink of death and eternal seperation, suddenly, at the implusive interest of sounding comprehensible to, what I can only hope to be, the audiance, start speaking in ENGLISH!

The story was bad. It felt like an Indie-wannabe. It WAS an Indie-wannabe. Perhaps the writers did not know, but the whole "son-saves-dad-using-mythological-elixir-of-life" plot device has been taken and used already, in a very famous movie too, I might add. It's called "Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade". Go watch it... it was a GOOD movie.

Oh, wait... did I just repeat a paragraph structure..? Damn, I guess that makes me a hypocrite. Oh well, I might as well continue then..

Advice: GET SOME CREATIVITY!

It almost seems as though the writers of this story had a creative breakdown right after finishing the little bits for the trailer~! And no... pulling jokes is NOT creative when writing an action movie; pulling well-TIMED jokes in the middle of some fight-scene with a nicely added pun to boot could be considered, but there weren't much of that, were there?

<Resists the urge to complain about the common sense which seems to almost be negligible throughout the movie>

Lastly, and this may seem almost like a side note when compared to the last two points, the Chinese spoken by some of the actors didn't even sound like Chinese. It sounded like someone trying to butcher a language that came SOMEWHERE from the east, but from where I pretty much can't tell. (Sadly, this included our very own Dato' Micheal Yeoh)

*Le sigh* So all and all, the movie ended up feeling like a complete rip-off from Indiana Jones, so if you've watched the initial trilogy, save yourself the time and money and stay far-far away from this one. You've already watched the best.

Of Questioning Intentions...

2008-08-03T18:07:12Z

How can you tell..? I mean, I've always wondered, and this could be something only I am experiencing (how can I know for sure?), but how can you be absolutely, 100%, without doubt, sure of your own intentions behind your every action...?

For instance, an old lady is about to get hit by a truck. You rush out to save her~! (Please, work with me here...) The questions then presents itself: How can you be sure that you're saving the old women out of the sheer goodness of your heart? Is it not possible that you might be enticed by the possibility of recognition? Reward? Perhaps a lil showmenship amongst your peers?

If not then, how about the driving force behind your noble deed? Is it because you really believe it's right? Perhaps it's because it's the way you've been brought up, the way you were told to behave? Or perhaps it's driven by fear, of rejection and scorn given to you in spite of your possible lack of action?

Naturally, the reasons for any action can deviate even more, but I'm just trying to explain a PoV here.

Meanwhile, for me, I feel it's probably one of the harder things to do in life...

Random Pics...

2008-07-27T17:19:23Z

My friend got a couple of pics while walking around Sunway...

Britannia Official Merchandise:

Pathway of Miku:

... Amazing what you can find with an open mind and a good eye.

Am I different...??

2008-06-28T21:22:01Z

It's funny this... In an odd sorta (unintended) continuation from my last entry, I seem to be faced with things that make me question what I believe and see in myself.

A while back, I had a conversation with a very dear friend in which he told me simply that "I'm special" (and not in the retarded sorta way). I don't think I've ever really believed him till now. Not wanting to go into any specifics, I seem to have noticed that my insistance in honesty and openess towards comments, critiques and suggestions (not only in myself but to those around me as well) seem to be something very few actually share. For that, it has often put me in positions where I'm left either socially-inept, disappointed, angry or simply depressed.

On an unassociated note, I'm beginning to miss a number of old friends. The last few weeks have got me thinking about the past few years of my life; from my high school years, to TARC, to my first year in TOA, and then the following years majoring in animation. Frankly, I've found nothing more suiting than the saying "Life is filled with ups and downs" to descibe these past few years...

My high school time, I was a loner. The geek, and a self-inflicted social outcast, but for what it was worth, I filled my hours with cocurricular activities, and that helped me find a place to belong.

My TARC days I was also a loner. Self-inflicted once again, but I had the guys in CF, and slightly before that, the few friends I had in Subang.

After that, I was still a loner, with few who really share my views and passion for the things I do, but then, I found friends in CD61-1, and for that brief period, I felt at home.

Now, I still feel alone. I have friends, sure, but in class, I still feel that there are very few that can truly feel the way I do about animation.

In the end as I think about it, perhaps I've mis-judged them, perhaps I'm wrong, perhaps this is just a rerun of my years in SMK SS17 and TARC, where I was the foolish self-inflicted outcast, perhaps they're really good and ingenious people and I'm the only stubborn fool that cannot see the world for what it should be...

And honestly, for what it's worth, I hope it's true... cause the alternative... is that this world is filled with stubborn fools and that I'm one of the few that can see it...

Self Analysis [LONG!!!]

2008-06-26T12:31:19Z

Forenote: Gawd... I really should be heading to work...

It's kinda funny how life seems to throw you a bone sometimes, in methods you'd never fully understand, nor would you be able to truly comprehend.

This tale starting bout a week back when a couple of friends mentioned to me how I had the annoying habit of finishing off other people's sentences. This conversation eventually went into detail over how I always assume to know more than I actually do.

On the following day, I was put in a position where I felt compelled to voice out my opinion, an impulse that apparently I had chosen to entertain almost too verociously. As it turns out, my habit of speaking my mind seems to have hurt the feelings of others.

Now, you have to understand that by now, after two days of said situations, I've already started to pay more attention to my actions and reactions. No surprise that when I had a presentation the next day with an external accessor, I was thoroughly taken aback when he mentioned that I should be more humble when presenting myself.

So three thought provoking comments over three days, which naturally would only prompt me to think just how applicable these PoVs are. (They are valid points, but whether it applies to what I choose to do with my life is another thing altogether, after all, nothing is 100% correct)

Subject 1. Assuming People
For me, I've pretty much logified this habit of mine to be my personal defense mechanism, a method for me to feel safe with people. I judge them (calculate, if you must) and gauge what to expect from them. From there, my mind tells me "oh, it's safe here..." or "you should be careful..." or somewhere along those lines.

I suppose I have taken it a lil too far. I mean, for those who don't know me, it's true that many will find it annoying. (as mentioned), so I guess there's a lil tweaking here to be done.

Subject 2. Speaking My Mind
After so many years of "surface pleasentries", I've become tired with having to put on a face simply to cater to what is expected of me from society. I suppose this may be viewed as anti-social and bastadic (is that a word..?!) but I feel happier knowing that I'm honest to myself, and that I don't havta prod ppl in the back as much (pent up opinions, they suck).

Mmm... I suppose things are also situational here... Circumstances vary, and sometimes, it takes a bigger man to muffle his principles and do things for the (overall) greater good.

Subject 3. Humility
A recurring problem that seems to have got me in quite a rut. I suppose I could do well to tone myself down, but I really don't know where to draw the line.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Come to think of it, I've changed quite a lot in the past few years. I feel my thoughts sharper, I know myself and my reactions better (though I can't vouch that every action is done only after due though), and I think taking moments to analize myself after a certain period of time has helped loads.

Emotionally, I still feel vacant somehow. Despite feeling emotions (at least I think I do), I somehow feel that the emotions itself lack a lil meaning. Perhaps it might just be me putting too much thought into it, a habit which I seem to have developed over the past few years. I still don't fully understand it (emotion), not can I truly identify it, so as far as that goes, I'm playing that by ear.

I still don't know who I am though. Other people claim to know themselves very well, a trait I evny as I seem to be drawing a blank on that particular sheet of paper. I do know how I would react at times, I also know what I detest or admire, but does that really determine who I am..? I figured there should be more, but perhaps I'm just trying to reach for an itch that just isn't there.

Mmm... I suppose, when I look at it again, perhaps the only real change in me is that I've finally started determining answers to questions I've always been asking. It's either that or I'm simply still confused, but whichever it is, it's a chance for self-improvement.

Random Personality Tests... rejoice

2008-04-28T13:44:11Z

My Measure of Attachment Qualities


Security	67
Avoidance	27
Ambivalence	61

You have low avoidance qualities. You have medium ambivalence qualities. You have high merger qualities.

Take a Personality Test now or view the full Measure of Attachment Qualities Report.

The best Myspace Layouts

My Personality


Neuroticism	77
Extraversion	62
Openness to Experience	57
Agreeableness	52
Conscientiousness	23

You are generally calm, although some situations can make you feel anxious or tense, however you experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. You are an active group participant but usually prefer to let someone else be the group leader. You tend not to express your emotions openly and are sometimes not even aware of your own feelings. You find helping other people genuinely rewarding and are generally willing to assist those who are in need. You find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice, however you feel superior to those around you and sometimes tend to be seen as arrogant by other people. You have a strong sense of duty and obligation, and feel a moral obligation to do the right thing.

Take a Personality Test now or view the full Personality Report.

The best Myspace Layouts

That was fun... I don't know how true is that anymore these days... don't really know myself as well~ =P

Nightz...

2008-02-26T19:48:05Z

As I sit,
Eyes tired from a breezeless chill,
Glazed against a humming screen,
Pattering keys breaking the still,
Straining across time spread thin...

My mind runs,
Alongst the whispers of a weeping willow,
Listing against the hollow winds,
Playing amongst the reeds of shallow,
Whistling a gentle song, it'd seem...

Spending the night in college once again makes me remember the days I spend working on my assignments (which I'm supposed to do), however, quite nights like these accompanied by Micheal Buble's - Dream Another Dream makes me a lil more... melancholic.

... Still dreaming my dreams I suppose.

安息吧，肥姐。。。

2008-02-20T16:34:15Z

If you're chinese, you should know who this is...

[ 1945 - 2008 ]

Lydia Shum, affectionately known by those who are familiar to her work as "肥肥”or “肥姐”, has passed away after a long illness. Hospitalized since early October of 2007, the chinese community now mourn for the loss of one of the most pleasent faces of television.

Rest in peace... 肥姐。

My best trait...?!

2008-02-20T04:19:48Z

Hmm...???

What's Your Best Quality? Your Result: Personality Your best quality is your personality! People like you because you are an all around good person. You have good manners and values. You also like to express your personal style and interests.
Out-Going
Sense of Humor
Ambitious
Intelligence
Loving
What's Your Best Quality? Take More Quizzes

I wonder if this is really true... (honestly not trying to fish for compliments, but I think I'm quite the jerk... =3=''')

Happy Valentine's Everyone~!

2008-02-13T19:21:57Z

Yeap~ as the title said~! Here's wishing everyone a Happy Valentine's. May you all enjoy chocolates until your breath smells like the flowers that undoubtably will eventually wither away from this plane of existance, but will remain in your hearts forever...

哎。。。虽说如此，心也没办法不觉得有点寂寞。。。哈哈哈哈哈。。。。*傻笑*

至少今晚我还会有月亮爷爷及眠鬼伯伯当伴。。。 ^_^

Random thoughts in chinese....

2008-02-12T19:38:59Z

哎。。。真想当件比基尼，永抱着美女的身材。。。

不知道何时，在下开始觉得空虚，心内的烦气堆起如山，没办法解决，没办法解放。。。

或许是工作的忙碌吧，弄得再下的心灵七上八下，烦而不计。。。真渴望鬼才的天分。。。

。。。孤独的情人节真是难过投了。。。

Happy Chinese New Year

2008-02-07T01:49:46Z

Since it's considered taboo to curse people during such an auspicious time (or get angry for that matter), I'd like to wish everyone a simple Happy Chinese New Year... oh, and my the people that step on your toes in this coming year be blessed with the fleas from a thousand monkeys, and may they all rejoice within the sanctity and joy of not being able to scratch... for whatever reason seems most humorous to you. =P

Yes... I'm working on a technicality, but heck, it's more fun this way~ =D

A lil something about people...

2008-01-31T05:34:30Z

A friend of mine came over this morning and showed me this link...
http://www.malaysia-today.net/2008/content/view/1958/46/

I read it, and really felt sad; sad because they can only live within such a small, self-infested, and cynical world.

Why do I say this? Simply because I am the result of chinese schooling. He speaks of the chinese community that insists on chinese schooling, as did my father, but the majority of the graduates of my class back in 1998 had a considerably fluent grasp on the language! He then goes on about how they graduate without the ability to think and hold a decent conversation in english, which is also true for a good portion of the population of Japan! Does that mean their in any way a "retard"?

So where are we going on with here?
1. Just because you're a chinese school grad. does not mean you cannot/do not have a good grasp of the english language. It simply means you did not try hard enough (I personally learned a majority of my english from watching Sesame Street), and that is a personal failing somewhere which evidently cannot entirely be blamed on a single community.
2. Japan is still a major player in the world's economic market (the last I remember), and the last I heard, a good portion of their population can barely string 5 words of english together. They know it, mind you, but they still try, and it's THAT mentality that keeps them on.

He totally dodges the problem. Resorting instead to seem right by stating things that seem to be biased and unfair. He talks about how politicians send their kids out to study, but have you thought about it? There is a ridiculous number of schools in this country, both private and public, which includes the SRJK (C)s, (T)s, SKs and the rest of the private schools. So if the chinese schools are the only failings, why not send them to the others instead of wasting all that time and money on going overseas?

The answer is simple - the failing lies in our education system, as a whole, and not particularly only within a single community. The best example of this is the method for which our literature is taught; we are not taught to appreciate it and interpret it on our own, neither are we graded on the maturity of our interpretation; instead, we are marked using FIXED answers and FIXED responses, and we are taught to score by MEMORIZING these fixed answers. Heck, most students just memorize the answers from reference books and fill in the blanks! (Sad to say, I fell into this catergory of students, so I really can tell you this is the truth...)

The article also talks about business, and how all the larger contracts are always awarded to the people who can speak fluent english. However, the truth about business is that it's always awarded to those the client feels most pleasent and trust for. Seriously, no one does business with someone they hate and/or feel unsafe about. So it doesn't really matter what language you are fluent in, but rather who you chose to do business with, and whether you can communicate well using that language. In fact, the chinese language which the author seems so biased against is actually going to be an asset in the coming years, considering the fact that one of the most densely populated countries in the world is appreciatively opening its borders to trade and modernization.

They lack the foresight to understand and see the world around them, choosing to concentrate instead within the narrow tunnel that is only those affected, fanning flames that simply cannot stand on their own. It's sad really, to have to live in such anger and frustrations.

Finally, as a personal interest to humiliate and poke fun of people like this (for personal enjoyment)...

Furthermore, all you care about is FOOD. The Chinese are such PIGS. Eating all the time!! Contesting among yourselves to see who can find the BEST restaurant. Let me tell you this, regardless what you eat today, be it a $1 pack of Nasi Lemak or a $1,000 slice of Abalone, it still will come out tomorrow morning as SHIT !! Unless of course, you have constipation. But then again, you anal-retentive Chinese maggots don't really care.

So does shit, but I don't see you putting that in your mouth. But then again, I'm sure you big-shots are full if it by now.

A lil about success....

2008-01-24T21:11:21Z

How would you measure success? Could it be the amount of money you have stashed up in your bank, or the number of stunts you've acomplished in your lifetime? I've been having a few pretty meaningful conversations with a few old friends as we were catching up recently that really begs me to question myself - What, by my definition, would be the symbol of a successful life?

As an artist, my definition of success is when you can walk into a convention and see people cosplaying characters of your design/making, or to log into a search engine and the first thing you find when you search for your creation is a load of fanfics/doujins (H- or otherwise is equally flattering to me).

As a writer, success to me is significantly different. As a writer, I wanna give the world a dream, or at least the space to dream; to tell them that there is more to life than the reality around them, and that the only true foolishness in life is NOT to believe in such foolishness.

As a person, I wanna light up the room whenever I can, I wanna make a difference in a person's life (preferably for the better), and to touch their hearts and make them smile, that when I die, people will gather and talk about the good times we spent together... and laugh.

...

It might seem that I have higher standards for myself as a writer and a person than an artist, but to be frank, to be recognised well enough to have your character cosplayed, and your works parodied, is good proof that you have contributed something significant to the industry. Perhaps, on top of everything, the "reasons" that drive us to do what we want to do will eventually become the baseline for determining the achivement of your success; perhaps, success is purely overrated and simply an illusionary line which we draw to tell outselves we've done enough; whichever the reason though, success is probably something I'll still be wondering about for a long while to come...